By Mumtaz Moosa Saley.
My mother I have such fond memories of her, like most my mother was present every sports day to cheer me on even thou she and I both knew I wasn’t cut out as an athlete, but there she was in the stands cheering me on as if I was an Olympic athlete.
She was a simple woman who gave even if she had nothing herself and no one knew this into the day she died.
Nothing can prepare you for a parents loss, nothing can prepare you for the life you live each passing day wishing she was still there for you like she always was.
My mother was diagnosed with cancer and from the day she found out it progressed really fast as it was to far gone. Even thou she had been going for every possible treatment the cancer like death was creating on faster than ever.
I remember hearing her screams of pain in the middle of the night, I prayed that almighty grants her a cure or take her away I could not bare her pain. When I looked at her I seen a queen who once was pretty yet humble weather away into a fragile state where movement was painful.
She was tired and even thou she had hope of beating cancer, her eyes said she was tired and that state messes you up but having your best moments in life without your mother beside you that what finishes you up.
The day my mother passed away I lost who I was, I lost apart from me that I would never get back. I spent nights pleading with Allah to forgive me for all I have done to her, I yearned to see her in my dreams and slowly her image began to fade in my memories.
I held on to the memories too afraid to lose them for they all I had m, I had on to small items she would wear all the time like her watch for that was all I had left of her.
I had turned sixteen and that year the most scariest thing in my life came true, I had to give my mother her ghusal before burial. My mother the queen who had so much elegance was just a body lifeless, my mother the women who cheered me on here I was praying that this isn’t real I needed her more than I had ever needed anyone in my life.
My mother taught me a lot of things and lessons in life but she didn’t teach me how to live without her.
As life goes on there a valuable lesson of Allah Qadr I got to understand in order to accept the loss of this magnitude. The Qadr of Allah is that no one belongs to us we all belong to him and even thou I miss her dearly she was the greatest gift of my life.
My advice to all those who have parents is visit your parents, call them, take them out and make memories with them. Look after them spoil them you can never repay them for all they have done for you but as they grow older remember they need you much more than they have ever needed you. My granny once told me that when you old all people do is make salaam and carry on with life forgetting that as they grow older they crave your attention and communication just as you did when you were small.
May Allah grant all those who passed away jannah ameen